Thursday, March 26, 2015

Autism Chronicles Part II: (Trying to become a...) Proud Father of an Autistic Teenager

I am the proud father of a teenager with autism in that I'm proud of him but I'm not ready to call myself a "Proud Father," as in a "Father" who is proud of his achievements as a "Father." I've been Johnny’s Dad since he was about to turn 3-years old. I was proud when I Married his mother, only I think I was only proud of myself. Proud to make this single mom’s life better by marrying her and taking her far away from the sweltering heat, dust, danger and discrimination found only in other Border-towns.


In the beginning, I had always felt I was being humble by not talking about Johnny. He was my 1st son, but technically my "step-son," and he was “Special” so every time I did talk about him I always felt conflict within me like my stories should be kept private, or I wondered if people thought I wanted then to revere me, and sometimes I even felt like I was complaining. I remember how much work it was for my wife and I to start the process of getting Johnny the Medical support he needed even with the best insurance money could buy at the time. Those early years were when I learned about the spectrum of Autism, Cognitive Impairment and the affects Autism can have on taking your wife out on a date.


I never mentioned Johnny to many people because of the sacrifices I was making for him and the work I had to do because of him. The years went by and living with Autism became the biggest challenge in my life, and I’m not proud of my handling of Johnny’s Autism and my job as a Father could only be called mediocre at best, but I have improved over these last few years.
If I could tell Johnny anything I would tell him:”1st Thank you for sharing your mom with me.” 2nd, “I’m proud of you for moving here so long ago, so far from your Home and conquering so many challenges one after the other including me.” Lastly, "I'm going to make you proud to call me Dad one day, and make sure that you get the life I implied when I married your mother."







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