FOOTSTEPS IN THE SAND-FAITH IN YOU LORD IS ALWAYS THE LAST STEP, WHEN IT SHOULD BE THE FIRST...

Goodbye Explorer-Goodbye Past:

My 1996 4x4 Ford Explorer is gone forever...Someone just drove off with it for salvage...I  will miss you...That car symbolizes so many things for me...It's the first car I bought on payments...cost...$7,000...$10,400 after the 5-years of perfect on-time payment that eventually led to the Credit-Score that allowed me to eventually buy my house...The house I needed to buy when my first born was about to come into the world and the 2-bedroom duplex was just too small for my wife, mother-in-law, sister and son Johnny...That Explorer got me to Arizona and back just two weeks after I signed the papers, and at the time I remember thinking how risky it was taking such a long and important trip.  I had to go because I couldn't be away from my beloved new family that I started in Arizona.  One year apart was enough for me, so it was worth the risk...hmmm...risk a car break down and wait...or have faith in God and know everything will be all good...new family home with me...where I know they'll be safe...wife next to me when I sleep...and son...here in Michigan...where the doctors and specialists are plenty...No choice at all really...12-years later and almost nothing but preventative maintenance in costs, I say GOODBYE MY BEAUTIFUL EXPLORER...THANKS FOR THE MANY WINTERS OF SOUND SAFE DRIVING...MAY THE FUTURE BE AS GOOD TO ME AS YOU WERE...EMOTIONALLY YOURS...

MY BABY...

MY BABY...

Temple Grandin: "The Autistic Brain"

Autistic boy explains autism

Autism - Calming a meltdown

Super Technique To Stop Your Child From Spitting

Easy DIY replacement plug for stability ball

Easy DIY replacement plug for stability ball

Autism Chronicles Part III: STILL A "STEP-DAD" AFTER 12-YEARS.....

We have a really nice guy come during the week to  be with Johnny...a Mentor if you will.  Great dude, but today I was unclogging the sink in the bathroom and Johnny tried to come in and the guy says..." Just a minute Johnny...wait till your step dad's done..."  My heart just crushed...that sums it up for me..."Step-dad" still after 12- years...what's 365  12 anyway?

Autism Chronicles Part II: (Trying to become a...) Proud Father of an Autistic Teenager

I am the proud father of a teenager with autism in that I'm proud of him but I'm not ready to call myself a "Proud Father," as in a "Father" who is proud of his achievements as a "Father." I've been Johnny’s Dad since he was about to turn 3-years old. I was proud when I Married his mother, only I think I was only proud of myself. Proud to make this single mom’s life better by marrying her and taking her far away from the sweltering heat, dust, danger and discrimination found only in other Border-towns.


In the beginning, I had always felt I was being humble by not talking about Johnny. He was my 1st son, but technically my "step-son," and he was “Special” so every time I did talk about him I always felt conflict within me like my stories should be kept private, or I wondered if people thought I wanted then to revere me, and sometimes I even felt like I was complaining. I remember how much work it was for my wife and I to start the process of getting Johnny the Medical support he needed even with the best insurance money could buy at the time. Those early years were when I learned about the spectrum of Autism, Cognitive Impairment and the affects Autism can have on taking your wife out on a date.


I never mentioned Johnny to many people because of the sacrifices I was making for him and the work I had to do because of him. The years went by and living with Autism became the biggest challenge in my life, and I’m not proud of my handling of Johnny’s Autism and my job as a Father could only be called mediocre at best, but I have improved over these last few years.
If I could tell Johnny anything I would tell him:”1st Thank you for sharing your mom with me.” 2nd, “I’m proud of you for moving here so long ago, so far from your Home and conquering so many challenges one after the other including me.” Lastly, "I'm going to make you proud to call me Dad one day, and make sure that you get the life I implied when I married your mother."

Autism Chronicles-Finding Autism, Finding Love

Autism Awareness is April 02 for the world, but it's every day for me, so I decided to write my remaining April Blogs about my journey living with Autism.  I helped raised my step-son since he was almost 4-years old.  I actually met him before I met my wife.  He was sitting at a school cafeteria table alone screaming at the top of his lungs.  I knew he was Special Needs  because that's when Special Needs kids ate, but what I never understood was why the rest of the class was two tables over, including staff.  The first time I saw this wasn't the last time, then one day I saw the mom come and pick him up.  The staff hurriedly rushed her to his table, pointing in his direction while in the middle of a tantrum.  I recognized the mom from the restaurant where I got my burritos from after work and had given me the cold shoulder every time I tried to talk to her.  I had got tired of her ignoring me so I gave her my number and told her call me if she ever got bored, then found myself looking for another restaurant to buy my burritos.  The little boy at the huge round table was hers and my heart went out to them both and I felt like imposing my opinions about what I had been seeing all the time, too many times for that matter, but I just started working there so I kept my mouth shut and she never saw me.  Two weeks (more or less) passed when out of the blue she called me.  I'll never forget that day, it was a Sunday afternoon and I was in my office planning, watching tv etc., and after a long conversation she asked me out on a date.  Autism still meant nothing to me, I didn't know anything about her son other than he was 3-years old and was a student in the area's Head Start Program.   The words non-verbal, developmental delay, stimming, behavior disorder, cognitive impairment all meant nothing to me still.  That phone call changed my life forever.

Banned in the USA...

I feel so flippin Banned in the USA right now...Can't score a job doing what I love, after doing it so long, without fail...

Back in high school one of my favorite groups was Luke Skywalker and the 2-Live Crew.  One of my favorite songs was "Banned in the USA."  It was a logical jump...middle school N.W.A.'s  "Straight Outta Compton" with it's violence, cussing and depiction of thug-life could only be followed by a group that could make parents bowels even more irritable ...The 2-Live Crew...who's recipe consisted of a healthy dose of cussing, lewd sexually explicit lyrics, which painted equally lyrical visions that showed the listener a raunchier, nastier, more vulgar, yet festive lifestyle with videos that became templates for generations of entertainers to come.  As a rule, Americans don't like excuses, and by the end of the Eighties many other Americans of that time-period participated in crime.  Now, breaking the law behind the reuse that poverty was to blame for it all was one "excuse" "the Man" could not except.  The idea that poverty was bequeathed to all poor people for all eternity by the proverbial hand of the "(white) Man" was considered by some easily solvable.  Initiative, motivation, virtuosity, hard work and education were all people needed to escape poverty...right...I always wondered if "White-America" was punished for their handling of NWA's music, which in retrospect at least mainly had a message of some sort woven withing their hard lyrics.  What was their punishment you might ask...better question is who...  

2-Live Crew proved EXCEPTION...to  the rule because they weren't poor, or rapping about it at all, nor were they complaining about anything at all...let alone "the struggle."  They proved that there was something worse than the cyclical "wasted opportunity" epidemic that poor people chose to live in...Them...a bunch of out of control party animals from the later to be dubbed "dirty-South."  Their music was backed up by a newer type of club music that made anyone listening want to move, and if you listened to the lyrics, they made you want to be doing what they were doing...which was having a GOOD time.  Every other word was either a cuss word or a vulgar word for a woman's fun parts, and to top it all off they didn't even have to promote their music to get rich because their bad publicity was being followed by a very large and powerful audience...the teenager.  It didn't hurt that an old social media (music) was about to fuse with a new age social media (video) only to become arguably an almost unstoppable influence all over the world.

Uncontrolled, the new broadcast radio called MTV pumped music through televisions sets everywhere only better, by enhancing the listener's experience with a visual stimulus called...video(s).  MTV provided the avenue to support musicians experimenting with the new format, too many pioneers to name (doing so would only start many, many fights) and so the Revolution began.  Music + Video became music-video and the two were fused forever, married if you will, reeking havoc some would say on the entire world, a hybrid method to spread something far worse to some than disease...thoughts....ideas...this two-headed monster became a vehicle for change, good, bad or both.  

White-Americans in the mid to late 80's were nearing the end of an era after living a life the world envied since the end of WWII.  They set the bar, they set the market, they had it so good, and President Reagan wasn't even in office yet.  They were oblivious to their downfall that started in the 60's, mostly turned hippies and couldn't remember the 70's, and then their cultural influence was taken down a notch when one of their own took down our Gipper.  President Reagan's term ended, Iran-Contra happened, the Space shuttle blew up, the rise and take over of L.A. had begun, and with President George Bush Sr. in our short future, and I think ALL Americans felt vulnerable, the "new" Cold War forced us to reacquaint ourselves with an old, but not forgotten friend...fear.  

Funny thing is, what I remember most about the 80's though, was my music.  Luke Skywalker and the 2-Live Crew, NWA, Ice-T, Beastie Boys, G-n-R, Mottley Crue.  Some of these groups impressed upon me the idea people (I) should never judge people based on appearance (or a few nasty songs).  I remember coming to this Epiphany after buying and then playing out my "Banned in the USA" cassette single (purchased at my local Sam Goody, found at my local Mall).  I was awe struck that Luke Skywalker could make me feel so Patriotic, so proud to be an American and was only more impressed by what I would later learn was called "irony" of the whole ordeal that led to the creation of the song.  I decided then, to never judge people who look a certain way on the outside, nor be scared to death of them, nor (logically) let my fear of the unknown lead me to base my fear of any group of people around the actions of a few.  I promised then, that when I meet Ice-Cube or thought, if I were ever lucky enough to meet him, on a dark street one day, I would ask for his autograph, then invite him to my house to eat my mom or Grandma's cooking.

What the hell am I even writing about this for anyway you might ask...I was just feeling all "Melancholy and Infinite Sadness" because I never feel that the same (here comes their Buzz-Word) "Tolerance" is ever allocated TO me, or the unique way I live and interact.  Even sadder (or more irony if it suits you) is that I am referring to people who are supposed to be the "Poster Child(ren)" for Tolerance...teachers.  When I taught, my biggest struggle was tolerating the discussions, conversations, arrogance, ignorance and above all cavalier attitudes of so many teachers.  How about me?  Could I leave for lunch every day if I felt like it?  No, cause that meant I was doing drugs.  Could I smoke a cigarette at lunch?  No because I wasn't setting a good example for a child.  Could I show my tattoos?  No....not to teachers, adults, kids, young or older...my tattoos were exposed to all at some point either by accident or on purpose and every time, nothing but judgement (not by any kids though).  They though, thought nothing of gossiping to each other, about each other.  They thought nothing about arguing with a middle-school child to the point where SHE struck two teachers, bit a security guard and assaulted 2 more students on HER way out.  All this, after a team meeting which left us all asking how the child made it to 8th grade when she received an "E" in every class she took in 7th grade...all while attending every single day (minus suspensions etc.).

QUESTION:  IF YOU WERE ME...WOULD YOU GO BACK TO TEACHING...YES OR NO...AND WHY?




QUESTION:  WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THIS PIECE?  (LACKED FOCUS...YOU FOLLOWED IT...YOU FELT WHERE I WAS AT...NONE OF THE ABOVE...OPINIONS...